When I sparred in karate, I was almost entirely motivated by fear. I didn’t want to get hit, and I definitely didn’t want to have to explain a bruise the next day. Naturally, I became good at defense, but really, the most effective way to stay safe in a fight is to be good at offense.
I’d try to hurt my opponents just enough that I wouldn’t get called on it, but they’d hesitate before coming back at me. In a sparring match, a split-second hesitation is gold.
I know from experience that it’s not a sustainable way to operate. It escalated my problem. I was seen as so aggressive that I was often matched against men twice my size. This only made me more afraid, and I was frequently pushed past my limits.
I feel like a lot of people are operating this way now.